Deja vu, Baka!
by Ecchi-Spud
Summary: Tonight we examine one Shinji Ikari, as he experiences that strange feeling that he's lived through something before, that what is happening now has already happened. Just in case, rated M for general nekkidness.


I don't own these characters; they belong to GAINAX, as well as ADV, Manga Entertainment, VIZ Media, etc. I'll be returning them.

Don't worry; I'll make it up to Shinji later on.

* * *

**Déjà vu, Baka!**

An Evangelion W-T-Fic by Ecchi-Spud.

* * *

The door to Major Katsuragi's apartment automatically slid closed behind Shinji. As he deftly removed his shoes, the young EVA pilot muttered a quick "_Tadaima_" to whoever was in the domicile. Not hearing a reply right away, Shinji placed the outdoor shoes in their usual spot, and softly padded down the hallway.

About halfway down the hall, Shinji noticed a muffled . . . whatever . . . coming from the direction of his room. As he sneaked up to the door with the "Shin-chan's Lovely Suite" sign, Shinji could better hear the sounds as moans – feminine. The door was slid open to reveal . . .

Well, the First Child was lying on her side, facing away from the door, on his bed. Directly in front of Rei was the Second Child, also lying on her side, facing and embracing her. Shinji could barely make out a thin line of saliva between the tongues of Asuka and Rei. It took Shinji a bit longer to notice their clothes – scattered all over the floor.

Asuka was the first to notice the new arrival. "_Anta baka?!_ Don't just stand there with your mouth open. Get your sweet ass over here!" The leer on Asuka's face was priceless, as was the grin on Rei's.

"uh . . ."

* * *

The door to Major Katsuragi's apartment automatically slid closed behind Shinji. As he deftly removed his shoes, the young EVA pilot muttered a quick "_Tadaima_" to whoever was in the domicile. Not hearing a reply right away, Shinji placed the outdoor shoes in their usual spot, and softly padded down the hallway.

About halfway down the hall, Shinji noticed a muffled . . . whatever . . . coming from the direction of his room. As he sneaked up to the door with the "Shin-chan's Lovely Suite" sign, Shinji could better hear the sounds as moans – feminine. The door was slid open to reveal . . .

Well, the First Child was lying on her side, facing away from the door, on his bed. Directly in front of Rei was the Second Child, also lying on her side, facing and embracing her. Shinji could barely make out a thin line of saliva between the tongues of Asuka and Rei. It took Shinji a bit longer to notice their clothes – scattered all over the floor.

Asuka was the first to notice the new arrival. "_Anta baka?!_ Don't just stand there with your mouth open. Get your sweet ass over here!" The leer on Asuka's face was priceless, as was the grin on Rei's.

"uh . . ." was all that Shinji could get out of his mouth, when he heard another familiar voice.

"Shin-chan? Is that you? Could you give me a hand here?"

While still staring at the now-resuming-their-mutual-and-pleasurable-grinding nude girls on top of his futon, Shinji could barely get out a "_hai, _Misato_-san_" before slowly sliding the door closed. Slowly, painfully, the Third Child walked into the kitchen, to find . . .

* * *

The door to Major Katsuragi's apartment automatically slid closed behind Shinji. As he deftly removed his shoes, the young EVA pilot muttered a quick "_Tadai-,_" stopping for a brief moment before completing, "_-ma."_ Not hearing a reply right away, Shinji placed the outdoor shoes in their usual spot, and softly padded down the hallway.

About halfway down the hall, Shinji noticed a muffled . . . whatever . . . coming from the direction of his room. As he sneaked up to the door with the "Shin-chan's Lovely Suite" sign, Shinji could better hear the sounds as moans – feminine. With his hands trembling, Shinji slid the door open to reveal . . .

Well, the First Child was lying on her side, facing away from the door, on his bed. Directly in front of Rei was the Second Child, also lying on her side, facing and embracing her. Shinji could barely make out a thin line of saliva between the tongues of Asuka and Rei. It took Shinji a bit longer to notice their clothes – scattered all over the floor.

Quickly, Shinji slid the door shut. From inside his room, he could hear Asuka, the first to notice his arrival. "_Anta baka?!_ Don't just stand there. Get your sweet ass in here!" The comment was followed by more moans and sighs, as Shinji's fellow pilots resumed their mutual and pleasurable grinding.

"uh . . ." was all that Shinji could get out of his mouth, when he heard another familiar voice.

"Shin-chan? Is that you? Could you give me a hand here?"

Shinji could barely get out a "_hai, _Misato_-san_" before slowly, painfully, the Third Child walked into the kitchen, stumbling at the entranceway. Picking himself up, Shinji found himself cheek-to-cheek (in a sense) with a very naked Misato, bending forward towards an open refrigerator.

"I need some help getting the beer into the fridge. I promise to make it worth your while . . ." This last comment was punctuated with a sly wink.

The blush on Shinji continued to spread, as he trembled . . .

* * *

The door to Major Katsuragi's apartment automatically slid closed behind Shinji. As he deftly removed his shoes, the young EVA pilot muttered a quick "_Tadai-,_" stopping before he could complete the greeting. Trembling, Shinji left the shoes scattered in the entrance, as he walked into the domicile.

About halfway down the hall, Shinji noticed a muffled . . . whatever . . . coming from the direction of his room. As he sneaked up to the door with the "Shin-chan's Lovely Suite" sign, Shinji could better hear the sounds as moans – feminine. With his hands trembling, Shinji slid the door open a crack to reveal . . .

Well, the First Child was lying on her side, facing away from the door, on his bed. Directly in front of Rei was the Second Child, also lying on her side, facing and embracing her. Shinji could barely make out a thin line of saliva between the tongues of Asuka and Rei. It took Shinji a bit longer to notice their clothes – scattered all over the floor.

Quickly, Shinji slid the door shut. From inside his room, he could hear Asuka, the first to notice his arrival. "_Anta baka?!_ Don't just stand there. Get your sweet ass in here!" The comment was followed by more moans and sighs, as Shinji's fellow pilots resumed their mutual and pleasurable grinding.

"uh . . ." was all that Shinji could get out of his mouth, when he heard another familiar voice.

"Shin-chan? Is that you? Could you give me a hand here?"

Shinji could barely get out a "_hai, _Misato_-san_" before slowly, painfully, the Third Child walked into the kitchen, stumbling at the entranceway. Picking himself up, Shinji found himself cheek-to-cheek (in a sense) with a very naked Misato, bending forward towards an open refrigerator.

"I need some help getting the beer into the fridge. I promise to make it worth your while . . ." This last comment was punctuated with a sly wink.

The blush on Shinji continued to spread, as he shuddered. Finally, the Third Pilot screamed, "**AAAAUGH!!**" as he ran out of the apartment.

As Shinji ran out of the building towards the subway station, he rounded a corner, colliding with classmates Toji and Kensuke. Picking himself up, Shinji continued his run towards the station, muttering.

"What's wrong with Shinji?" queried Toji, dusting himself off.

"It sounded like, 'I must run away, I must run away.'"

Toji stared at the quickly-receding Shinji. "He's gonna be pissed when he notices he's not wearing his shoes."

* * *

The door to Major Katsuragi's apartment automatically slid closed behind Shinji. Before he could deftly remove his shoes, the young EVA pilot stopped, and slowly stared down the hallway. Shinji noticed a muffled . . . whatever . . . coming from the direction of his room.

The Third Pilot screamed, "**AAAAUGH!!**" as he ran out of the apartment.

As Shinji ran out of the building towards the subway station, he rounded a corner, nearly colliding with classmates Toji and Kensuke. Running between the two, Shinji continued his run towards the station, muttering.

"What's wrong with Shinji?" queried Toji.

"It sounded like, 'I must run away, I must run away.'"

Toji stared at the quickly-receding Shinji. "At least this time he remembered his shoes."

* * *

In front of the Main Gate to the Geofront and NERV HQ, a subway train slid to a halt. As the train doors opened, a very nervous Shinji bolted towards the entrance, coming to a sudden halt as he collided with the security barriers. As the subway proceeded on its route, Shinji fumbled with his wallet, extracting his ID. Sliding it in the card reader, one of the gates started to open with a soft repeating ding. As the entrance opened, Shinji dashed inside, and the gate started to close.

As the entrance at the Main Gate to the Geofront and NERV HQ slid shut, a subway train slid to a halt. As the train doors opened, a very nervous Shinji bolted towards the entrance, coming to a sudden halt as he collided with the security barriers. As the subway proceeded on its route, Shinji fumbled with his wallet, extracting his ID. Sliding it in the card reader, one of the gates started to open with a soft repeating ding. As the entrance opened, Shinji frantically slid the card repeatedly through the reader, as if trying to get the gate to open faster. Finally, Shinji dashed inside, and the gate started to close.

* * *

Bursting into Dr. Akagi's office, Shinji blurted, "Akagi_-hakase_!! You've got to help me! I think I'm experiencing d-"

The sudden pause in Shinji's speech was caused as he took a good look inside of the office and its occupants. Ritsuko was focused on driving a well-lubed long strap-on (the only thing she was wearing) into the anal passage of an ecstatic Maya (who only had on a thin leather collar around her neck).

"_YES, SEMPAI!! POUND ME HARDER!!_"

It was all Shinji could do not to hit his head hard on the floor, as he silently collapsed . . .

* * *

Bursting into Dr. Akagi's office, Shinji blurted, "Akagi_-hakase_!! You've got to help me! I think I'm experiencing _**BOCCIE!!**_"

The sudden deviation in Shinji's speech was caused as he took a good look inside of the office and its occupants. Ritsuko was focused on driving a well-lubed long strap-on (the only thing she was wearing) into the anal passage of an ecstatic Maya (who only had on a thin leather collar around her neck).

"_YES, SEMPAI!! POUND ME HARDER!!_"

It was all Shinji could do not to hit his head hard on the floor, as he collapsed on the floor screaming . . .

* * *

FINALLY!! Done. Now, after seeing that particular **Monty Python** sketch, and trying to figure out how to do a "Be Mean to Shinji" fanfic using that idea, . . .

Yes, I know I still suck, but I do keep trying. C&C at your leisure.

* * *

A startled Shinji woke up. Staring up, above him was a dark-but-familiar ceiling. Slowly, the naked Shinji stirred in his own futon.

As he stirred, he noticed some other familiar feelings. To his upper-left, a naked Asuka was still in the midst of slumber, her breathing slow and easy. To his lower-right, a naked Rei quietly stared back at the young man. Quietly, Rei asked of her lover, "_Nani?_"

"Nothing, Rei. I just had a bad dream."

"What was the dream about?"

Carefully considering his next words, Shinji finally whispered, "Nothing to worry about. Just a feeling of déjà vu."

As Shinji stared down at the bluehead, Rei quietly responded, "That's okay, lover. The three of us will take care of this again in the morning." With that, she closed her eyes.

Shinji closed his eyes to return to sleep. But then a frown appeared on his face.

_Again?_


End file.
